Spontaneous combustion

I’ve documented before that my battle with an anxiety disorder is constant and regular, but although its ongoing I’m a damn sight further on than I was a year ago. My concern at the moment for me though, is being too complacent. Very often now I’m doing things considerably out of the ordinary. I’m pushing boundaries I no longer have, I’m entering situations I no longer fear – and believe me, it feels great. 

The thing I need to resolve now? Surprise triggers. 

Yesterday, I spoke about a member of my family contacting me and causing me upset. To explain, my relationship with my dad hasn’t been great since my parents separated, and it was rocky up until around 6 years ago when it got too much and I called it a day. We haven’t spoken since, although dirty looks and gossiping had been thrown around here and there . Cut to yesterday when I receive a text out of the blue from my dad pretending nothing has happened. 

Seeing his number was the start. My stomach tightened, I lost my appetite, I was edgy, twitching, all of which is the start of an anxiety attack. 

These kind of things are always going to happen, there will always be dramas, what I need to do is learn to deal with it. 

I see this as my next step, going into the unknown and seeing what happens. And that’s hopefully going to make my life easier. 

I can’t erase the past and I can’t make these feelings go away, what I can do is find ways to manage these feelings and through help from my Twitter friends and understanding family, I’ll definitely get there one step at a time. 

If you have tips please do share. And if you want to chat you’ll find me on @anxiwarrior

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