I have always struggled to open up about how I’m feeling. I hate feeling vulnerable and people knowing too much about me, so have always bottled things up.
This week has been a particularly difficult one, for no main reason but small things mounting on top of me. I was beginning to cope then tonight I received news that an elderly member of the family who stopped speaking with me a while ago is in intensive care. She was aware she may go have to after an op, so reached out to other members of the family beforehand to reconcile, but not me.
I live by the mantra of ‘regret what you have done not what you havent’, so my intention is to reach out and offer my well wishes, which may or may not be received well.
So all of these things piling up make for an unhappy warrior. I’ll be ok, I know I will. I preach all the time about riding the wave and that’s what I’m doing, and eventually I’ll be back up again, but for the moment I’m quite down, and it’s quite rubbish down here.