This isn’t a typical ‘new year, new me’ post as I’m not a fan of that, but I wanted to note down exactly what this next new year will mean for me, and how the last year has been.
Firstly, my main resolution was to lose weight which I did (although steadily putting it back on over Christmas!) and secondly, I wanted to begin getting my life back now I have anxiety under relative control. Has that happened? I’d say to an extent, yes! I’ve been to the cinema, I’ve seen shows, I can go out places now without blind panic. Sometimes it’s not easy while I’m there, but very little is off limits to me now.
I don’t think a new year did this for me, I think it is a frame of mind, which is why I always take advantage of new year as a way to begin thinking positively about the future. So with that in mind, what does 2016 have in store?
Well firstly I want to get back into swimming. Since moving house I haven’t been and I miss it so much. I’ve gone from swimming a mile per day to just having a shower every day, it’s depressing. Secondly, as before, I want to get my weight further under control but from a healthy point of view. Not only am I approaching my 30s, but with the prospect of being a father hopefully on the horizon I feel it’s important to be around for as long as I can in order to a) enjoy it and b) make sure they behave.
Work-wise, I want to expand. I currently work for a small business where motivation is very minimal, and I know with the right tools I could do it myself and that’s what I want to do. Where anxiety is concerned, I intend to keep on fighting. Fighting has got me to where I am today, and standing up to anxiety, staring it in the face and being strong has meant that my life is under control again, and that’s exactly how I like it. I’m still a very long way off being considered normal, but for me I’m kind of free now to live as I please and to be honest I’m quite happy with that.
Lastly, my girlfriend and I are writing a 2016 bucket list, a list of all of the things we keep saying we want to do but never get around to doing it. My biggest fear is not life coming to an end like a lot of people, my biggest fear is life coming to an end and having not used it to experience everything we’ve ever wanted to.
2016 will be a positive year for me. I can’t guarantee it, but I can look at it that way, and any negatives that come my way I’ll face head on, because anything less won’t work.
I hope everyone reading this has a good 2016. My one tip would be to think positively. As hard as it feels when everything around you feels so dark, look into something, anything, that can make you feel positive. A song, a film, a person, a smile, anything. Feeling positive will drive you to a better place, slowly but surely.
Stay safe, stay strong, and keep fighting.