Sorry if I’m getting a bit blog happy lately, but as things get on my mind I’m going to share them for 3 reasons: 1) to get it off my chest, 2) to maybe get some answers and 3) to hopefully help someone else going through the same thing.
This weekend, it’s my social life (or lack there of). I’ve never been a social butterfly, and although I get on really well with people I come into contact with, I’ve never really been fortunate enough to have a group of really close friends. The last group of friends weren’t that good to me in all honesty, used me for money/car driving/generally being not very nice people so now I don’t really see them anymore. Yes, I have people I go out for dinner with sometimes, I get on with everyone at work really well and when I tend to meet strangers, it’s not long before I’m laughing and joking with them which I *think* makes me likeable at least.
What I’ve never really mastered is making really good friends and I don’t really know why. Often, it doesn’t bother me too much. I tend to go out for meals fairly regularly or pop out to the cinema or whatever, or even have friends over. The time it bothers me the most is now – when the GF goes out, I’ve nothing pressing to do and I have absolutely no one to contact to say “hey, you fancy doing something?”. I feel like everyone is getting on with their own lives and I don’t have that connection with someone on a friend level to just be able to call on and do something with.
I’m always nice to people, always try to make the effort and even through anxious times I put myself out there to try and get to know people, but for some reason it’s just never clicked.
So I guess my question is, how does a 30 year old with anxiety and very little hobbies actually meet people and become good friends? I just want to be able to pop to the pub for a bit of food and a drink, or a wander through town having a laugh and doing a bit of shopping. Just normal, every day stuff.
I get that a lot of people say “take up a course” or “attend activity groups” but it’s just not that easy to do when, like me, you’re intimidated at the thought of going to such events and putting yourself out there in the hope that someone will take a liking to you. I did join “Meetup” for my local area but again I find the whole thing quite intimidating. So you can see how tricky it is…
If anyone’s got experience in this kind of thing, or even if you live in the South Yorkshire area and would like to meet up for a drink, you know where I am!