Life is built on choice. We have a choice about how we live our live, and if the choice is taken away from us, we have a choice on how we respond to it. We choose what job we’re in, we choose our friends, we choose what we eat, we choose what we drink, we choose how we behave and how we treat other people. We chose the bad hair in the 80’s, the double denim we wore to work once, the poor choice of one night stand where you wake the morning after wondering whether you were drunk or in fact possessed.
Now, some people would look and suggest they can’t choose certain things. For example, we don’t choose to have a broken leg, We don’t choose to have someone treat us badly, we don’t choose to suffer a mental illness – and quite rightly so.
I didn’t choose Anxiety, I hate it. I’d never choose to have such a debilitating illness that, out of the blue, can smack you in the face and restrict everything you do. Who in their right mind would choose that? Apart from the morons who see anxiety as a fashion accessory, but that’s for another day.
So no, we can’t choose everything that happens throughout life. What we do choose is how we respond to things that happen. If things are taken out of our control, we have the choice of how we react in this situation and how we deal with certain circumstances.
Recently, my resolve has been tested when it comes to rubbish things happening out of my control. As previously written, I could be facing redundancy due to struggles with work. I was so frustrated when I found out, I couldn’t sleep properly and in all honesty felt really sorry for myself. I don’t particularly like my job but it does offer me security, financial reward and is flexible with my mental health on occasion. That’s when I realised, I can’t necessarily choose what happens to my job, that’s out of my control, but I CAN choose how I deal with it and move on from it.
I have 2 choices, I can either sit wallowing, awaiting what’s due to come be it good news or bad, OR I can be proactive and create a back up for myself – and I’ve chosen the latter.
Although redundancy is grim (it’s so so grim), it gives you this sense of drive that you didn’t really have before. When you’re faced with the prospect of losing everything (extreme obvs) there’s this small fire that gets going inside if you, stronger than any anxiety or other mental illness that tells you “OK, this is what you have to do”.
My very good friend Rach (@rachypink_ on twitter, amazing person and worth connecting with) listened to me rant, exploding all of my absolute nonsense into her DMs which allowed me to see just how overwhelmed I was, and then worked with me to regain some focus on what I could do next and the choices I could make to get there.
Over the last week, I’ve been aligning plans I’ve had for years including online business opportunities, food blogs, writing, create products to sell, all of which I’ve wanted to do just for the love of it but haven’t had the time or opportunity.
So you see, life IS built on choice. I didn’t choose to have the prospect of redundancy in my near future, but I can choose how I deal with it – I can either wallow or thrive, and I’m choosing to thrive.
You don’t choose to have mental illness, but you can choose how you deal with it and live with it. It’s one decision, one choice.
And a quick note to anxiety – I’ve been knocked this past couple of months, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still fighting. Consider this a time out, and when I choose, be ready to watch me succeed.