Anxious Fertility – We keep going

Well! I thought I’d drop a little update in here, partly for my own sanity but also for the people who often send a lot of support my way.

Recap: We can’t have a baby naturally, and having tried for 2 and a half years, we don’t seem to be getting anywhere with it, so now we’re having fertility treatment via the wonderful NHS. First step is IUI, which is basically artificial insemination, the second stage is IVF.

Well, after 3 rounds of IUI, sadly it hasn’t worked for us. For whatever reason, my swimmers either can’t be arsed or my girlfriend produces eggs that are just too tough to crack! Next step is IVF…

Although I’m disappointed, I kind of ‘knew’. I knew life wouldn’t hand us a lifeline, it never has, so things were always going to be difficult for us, I just didn’t know they would be this difficult.

So what’s next? IVF. In all honesty, this is a last resort for me. It’s not something I wanted to do from a mental health perspective because in all honesty it’s draining. I know my partner will go through more physically, but this is a lot for me to take in and cope with mentally.

It’s also put a strain on us as a couple. You cant help but experience things changing. Conversations are different because the thoughts are different and what you’re going through is tough, sex is different because it’s timed. You’re told when you can, when you can’t, when you should, it should be on this day, that day, 3 days a part, every other day, one at night one in the morning – all spontaneity goes out of the window.

Then there’s the hospital visits, consultations, tests, examinations, 35-50 minute drive to the clinic. IUI was hard enough, so I can only imagine how tough IVF will be.

But you know what, we’re lucky because technically there is nothing wrong with us. We’re both healthy, with no fertility issues. For whatever reason, it just isn’t happening, and this seems to be our option at the minute.

So onto the next step I guess. Head up, shoulders back, we keep going.

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