The power of “How are you?”

OK I’m going to pre-warn you, this post is a little bit ‘woe is me’ but its something that’s bothering me so I thought what better way to work past it than to write about it and get it out of my fingers!


When did you last think about someone, and ask them “How are you?”

Do you know the last time one of my friends or family said to me “how are you?” with genuine interest? No, me neither, and that makes me quite sad.

Over the last 2 years I’ve documented (a lot) about the troubles we’ve been having as a couple, and me as a person. Anxiety, bouts of low mood, confidence issues, work related issues, we suffered a miscarriage, we’re having ongoing problems with fertility which has drastically affected our relationship. It’s been bloody tough! Don’t get me wrong, I survived it, probably by eating my own weight in chocolate, mindfulness and a few tears here and there, but I survived it.

When I sit now though, having been through all of that (and still am to an extent), I realise that with every step of it, not one of my friends or family have actually sat down and said “so how are you feeling about it all?”. Is that a bit selfish? To be honest it probably is and I’m not usually a selfish person unless it boils down to sharing food, but I feel like when I put myself forward to see how people are, and get nothing in return, that being selfish is justified? I’m open to opinion on this…

So yea, that’s all really. Take some time today to just text someone and ask “hows things?”. Maybe they’ve just had a baby, maybe work is a bit difficult, maybe they want to lose weight but can’t put the pizza down. Whatever it is, your asking might just make the absolute world of difference.

Sometimes, you asking how someone in could save a life. Take a few seconds out of your day to ask someone how they’re doing.



1 Comment

  1. To be honest, it’s difficult to give genuine answers when people ask “How are you?” because I’m not comfortable giving true responses to people I don’t know. For where I live, I feel “How are you?” is thrown around in daily life as just a general saying and no one actually really cares how I am. But the times I do feel people are genuinely asking and want to know how I am, I am uncomfortable being honest, especially if I am not “good” or “fine” (as this is my usual, mundane response that I give).


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