I’m Anxiety Warrior, and I’m a comfort eater!
I know I’m not the only one who turns to food as a best friend in times of feeling rubbish. Chocolate, cakes, chips, pizza and ice cream – you name it, I’m likely to shovel it in my gob as fast as I can buy it, bake it or make it. I’ve always been the same, when things get rough I think to myself “sod it, I deserve to eat chocolate, it’s been rough”, and I think a lot of us feel the same way right? Well, it’s got me thinking…
This week, with one thing and another, I’ve felt really low. Low mood, anxious thoughts, and struggling with a feeling of depression (this isn’t me saying I’m suffering with depression, I just feel ‘depressed’ at recent event). I’ve struggled with frustration at both myself and the situation we’re currently in, and as a result have been looking for a quick fix to make myself feel better. Cue our good old friend, food.
This week, I’ve eaten so much food, I’m actually embarrassed about it. I’ve had ice creams, chocolate, cakes, desserts, pizza, burgers, sausage sandwiches, you name it and I’ve shovelled it into myself. All along, I’ve known exactly what I’ve been doing, as if on a path of self destruction. I know it’s bad for me, I know I’ll gain weight, I feel bloated, tired, dry mouth, constantly thirsty, lethargic and unmotivated, yet I continue to eat my way through as much crap as I can get my hands on.
This isn’t new either. When my parent’s separated I was aged 10, and instantly turned to food for comfort. I used to be a quite a slim child, often being described to have “hollow legs” because I would always be hungry but constantly skinny. Once I began to use food for comfort though, I quickly gained weight and through my teenage years ballooned until at the age of 18 I was 19.5 stone. Since then, I lost 6 stone, gained 4, lost 4, gained 2 and here I am – 15.5 stone and eating my way into tighter trousers and a load of t shirts that don’t fit.
Well it’s time to take control of it. When I’m mentally well, I strive to live healthily, I don’t eat processed food, fast food or takeaways, and rarely eat any chocolate, so I know I’m more than capable of living a healthy lifestyle and often enjoy it. However, for whatever reason, I’m taken over by my mental health and it spirals into a comfort eating nightmare of sugar, unhealthy fats, copious amounts of carbs and snacks a-plenty. Well I’ve had enough of it. I want to lose weight the healthy way, take control of my eating and reset myself.
I have a choice. I can choose to continue eating unhealthily, as if harming myself while looking to feel comforted at the same time, or I can choose to change the way I’m currently eating and strive or a healthier lifestyle through better food, regular gym attendance and a positive mind. I’m choosing change.
So as of Monday 2nd July, I’m going to be taking control of my eating with three balanced meals throughout the day. My mood is still low, but that doesn’t mean I HAVE to eat rubbish. Instead I’ll find comfort in other things such as the gym, friends, mindfulness, writing and cooking my healthy meals. Throughout the next few weeks I’m going to tweet my meal plans, to keep myself accountable and remind myself that I can do this will will power. If you want to try this to, we can do the journey together.
My first meals will consist of courgette and sweetcorn fritters topped with ham and a poached egg – low card and high in natural fats and protein. Lunch will be tomato based chicken curry and a small amount of rice, followed by a dinner of sausage, apple and parsnip bake to refuel me after the gym. That’s it. That’s all I’ll need to keep me full, and any food outside of that will be unnecessary.
So heres to achieving a healthier me. Balanced food, more exercise and refocusing my mind to get me out of this rut.