Ordeal

Well, this isn’t a post I thought I’d be writing, and I’m only doing so as a form of therapy to get this information out. 

Following on from my post a few days ago, sadly my girlfriend suffered a miscarriage 5 days after discovering we were finally pregnant. We’re devastated. We hoped things would work out. We’d heard from so many people how ‘spotting is normal’ and that’s what we clung onto as Dr. after Dr. told us the bad news. Afterwards, were told to ‘go home and rest’ with more questions than answers while we try to comprehend all of this. 

What has shocked me is the lack of compassion and understanding we’ve received throughout this horrific thing we’ve been through. Our first consultant was awful with no bed side manner. Our GP just said ‘we don’t deal with that, contact your ward’. We don’t have a ward. 

The hospital was the most stressful 3 and a half hours I’ve ever endured. We were seen by a nurse who asked questions and requested a urine sample. We were then called by another nurse who did the exact same thing. After an hour we were seen by a student doctor who didn’t even know she was pregnant, then a doctor who thought she was complaining of a heavy period to finally be sent home to recover from a miscarriage, to then be called at home by one of he doctors to say she still is pregnant, for the GP to then ring to say she’s miscarrying. You think that’s confusing? Try living it while having the feeling of losing your baby. 

It really has been an awful experience for both of us and as I lay here under a blanket, just music on watching the candle I lit for our little poppy seed, I can’t comprehend what my girlfriend must be going through. 

‘Miscarriage’ is such an easy word to say and such a dismissive subject. It’s disposable, just like the pregnancy. That is, until you’re experiencing it. 

To doctors, this is little more than a clump of cells that ‘just haven’t taken’ for whatever reason, but to us, this was our baby. The one thing we’ve been waiting for, for the last 14 months. 

Our little poppy seed wasn’t quite strong enough, for whatever reason, and we’re devastated. 

3 Comments

  1. It’s rare I ever comment but I have been keeping up to date with what’s been happening and there is little else to say other than I’m deeply sad and sorry for you and your girlfriend’s loss and the ordeal you’re both going through.

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  2. I am so sorry to hear this. I know there is nothing I can say to help, but know that I am sending you both love and keeping you in my prayers. I am sorry how you were treated by the doctors and nurses who were supposed to be caring for you, and I wish you didn’t have to go through this pain. There are support groups out there for both of you, who understand your pain and will listen about the unfairness of all of this. It is not your faults though. You didn’t do anything wrong. Look after each other and be stronger together. Survive. Keep breathing. ❤

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